#2 in My Series of "Incredibly Bad Poetry by Celebrities or Fictional Characters"

Shhhhh: A Poem
By Tom Cruise

Lay your head, sweet darling
Upon the pillow
And close your glibbinous [sic] eyes
Be quiet, my love
Gnash those dazzling teeth and release
The pain to Me
For I will wave my magic fingers
Above this bed, and hum a glib-glorious tune
That will ease the searing glibitude [sic]
Within your womb
Dear glibby, wondrous woman of mime [sic]
Close your eyes, shhhhh
Do not tear at the duct tape
That seals your glib cries
And think of the life we hath wrought
Er. Begot
I mean. Uh. Whatever
Mine brain worketh overtime, O Silent Rose of
Hubbard

Hubbard?

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to her cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone
And when the dog barked too loud
Drawing a glibtudonous [sic] crowd
Mother Hubbard said, Shhhh, before I beat you into submission with this stone

Get it? You’re a Mother of Hubbard, and the character’s name is Mother Hubbard?

Oh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, try not to weep
Do not make a peep
You’re not Meryl Streep
Or a big fat sheep
I pray the Ron [sic] my soul to keep

Amen.