
A) A hideously inaccurate portrait of me by Lar, after a twelve of Coors and a good cigar
B) A striking likeness of Lar by me, after a twelve of Coors and one Valium. Okay, maybe two.
C) A portrait of me by my son, Brandon, after a peanut butter sandwich that had been lying around for a couple of hours and a room-temperature glass of O.J.
D) Self-portrait by George W. Bush, no mind-altering substances needed
E) A study of the soul by Condi Rice, after a three-martini lunch and a good look at her conscience
F) A particularly mean-spirited rendition of Harry Whittington by Dick Cheney, after the "incident"
G) A portrait of Martha Stewart by Donald Trump, after Martha bitch-slapped him
H) A good-natured cartoon depicting George W. Bush by President of the United Arab Emirates, Khalifa bin Zayed, after learning the good news
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