Eight Random Facts About Me

I've been tagged by the scrumptious Ms. Jordan Rosenfeld.

The rules:
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Fine. Here are my eight random facts.

A Word of Warning: I am so fascinating, you may be lulled into a hypnotic trance, whereupon I will control you with my extraordinary psychic powers via remote mindfuck, and you will be my intellectually-controlled slave forever and ever and ever.

Which is just fancy talk meaning I will take over your brain and you will unwittingly buy me lots of books and send them to me on a weekly (or daily, depending on how grabby I feel) basis. Also chocolate.

Eight Random Facts About Ms. Lori

1) My middle daughter, my oldest brother and I all have Asperger’s Syndrome, although only my daughter and myself have been diagnosed, e.g., spent two trillion bucks to sit in a shrink‘s chair and stare numbly at their flapping lips.

My brother, forty years old, loves lizards and spiders, still lives at home with Joan Crawford Mom, and will ask you how much you spent on a gift you give him. He’s also the smartest, funniest, kindest man I’ve ever known, and one of the few people on earth who doesn’t get on my last freaking nerve.

2) I adapt well to living on the streets, as evidenced by my stints in Manhattan and York, England. Park benches, cozy courtyards, and abandoned storefronts can be lovely if you have no sense of fear and at least two dollars in your pocket.

3) If someone is in trouble, especially women or children, I will attempt to help. I do not understand people who stand around and do nothing.

In my next life, I shall be either a first-responder of some sort or an exotic dancer.

4) I taste words, a phenomenon known as lexical-gustatory synesthesia. My name, for instance, tastes like the gel-like icing they put on birthday cakes. The name “Boris” evokes bad breath smell, and makes me a bit nauseated. Seriously, I can taste it in the back of my throat. It is not pleasant.

5) I have smoked cigarettes since age twelve.

6) My handwriting/printing is like that of a four-year-old, unless I take my time and try really, really hard. It’s difficult for me to hold pens or pencils, and I often become “stuck” while writing something, almost like being trapped for a moment in quicksand. I also transpose letters, have to stop and think before writing a word. Which sucks.

7) I am afraid of wild ferns. Quick, embarrassing anecdote: During a Girl Scout camping trip when I was eleven or so (I lasted two weeks in the Scouts, by the way), the girls and I went exploring in the woods. Fine and dandy. Unfortunately, we came upon a huge patch of fern, and in order to get to the babbling brook ahead, we had to cross through the ferns. I stood there shaking as all the other girls carelessly trod on through the dark, fluffy, disgusting, monster-hiding hell. And then I cried.

I was forced to return to the campsite and sit there with Ms. Wackadoo, one of the chaperons. She was very old and very insane. I learned more than I needed about how to whittle Ivory soap into hideous duck-shaped figurines.

8) I am not ashamed to admit that I love Tom Jones.

I am tagging the following people. Ignore if you must, darlings, but I always play by the rules…

Gerry

Kirby

Olivia

Cassandra

John

Mr. Biscuits

Josh

Victor