Random Things About My Weekend That May Bore You to Death

!) My DSL has been veeerrryyy sssllloooowww the past month. Never was that much faster than dial-up, but have mercy, there ought to be a law. This probably would cause the average person some mild irritation and stress, but for me, it's lethal. I, unfortunately, feel an intense need to make sure every single page loads regardless of how long it may take. I cannot simply throw my hands upward in frustration and log off -- I MUST load the page. It's not unusual for me to spend twenty minutes or more just loading and reloading pages. This has screwed up my whole usual routine, and I am not happy.

%) One of my kids plugged the toilet the other day, but for reasons I will not go into, a plunger would not have been the wisest implement of choice. Had to use a Q-Tip, for reasons I will not go into. And, for reasons I will not go into, I spent a ridiculous amount of time with my anti-bacterial soap and a bottle of Clorox bleach. I felt both physically and spiritually violated. I have come to the conclusion that toilet engineers are idiots. Either that or they don't have preteens or teens who eat like elephants. Whatever. I'm still traumatized.

&) I watched “Mozart and the Whale” last night. I had been warned ahead of time that this film might stir up dark fantasies involving Josh Harnett, a vat of acid, and a common garden rake, and it did, but I also didn't think it was half bad. Wasn’t exactly half good, either. Can you say "exaggerated stereotypes written (by Ron Bass, screenwriter for “What Dreams May Come” -- ‘nuff said) and directed by bumbling dorkenheimers"? And yet...I was incredibly turned on by Harnett's character, which makes no sense, considering. Also, the gorgeous Ms. Radha Mitchell was a joy to behold, and despite the implausible public outbursts she was forced to portray (outbursts that seem not to jibe with a high-functioning adult with AS who’s learned to get along in society, be gainfully employed, and exhibits self-control in all other areas of her life), I identified with some of her character’s quirks and personal demons… Bah. I confuse even myself. I give it three cigarettes out of five.

^) I took an online I.Q. test yesterday, and according to the results, I'm not only dumber than my grandmother‘s ceramic chickens, I'm even more stupid than George W. Bush. Of course, in my defense, I did take the test immediately following the toilet/Q-Tip incident, so perhaps that had something to do with the poor showing. Also, please refer to my first mundane rambling. Fifteen minutes loading the page, thank you very much.

!!!) Someone surprised me with a thoughtful gift yesterday. You rock, Kim.