My Heart Lies Dormant

Ms. Lori is disappointed with the lack of hot male studery on this season’s American Idol.

Also, I think Simon Cowell may have had breast reduction surgery, but I can't be sure...There's a strong possibility that he's merely strapping his manly mammaries against his ribcage with some sort of leather contraption designed for such purpose, which, if true, is to be commended. His bounteous bosoms of seasons past were the source of much distraction for me, especially when he would casually toy with them, rub them, slap them, make them dance...Shameful, it was. Dirty and shameful.

That is all.