Friday, August 11, 2006

#3 In My Series of “Incredibly Bad Poetry by Celebrities or Fictional Characters”



My Lumps

By Hillary Clinton’s Bust

Gaze upon mine curiously smooth breasts
And wonder, aloud if need be
What the hell my Creator was thinking
When he chipped and hammered and
Banged me to life
With chisel, with big, gnarly hands

stony silence

Dear God, do you not hear me scream? Listen!
Marble heart breaking, tears of pebble plonking
Down my unnaturally aged face
I am a rock
I am an island
I enjoy Simon and Garfunkel

rocky mountains sigh

Lo! The horrors of my existence
As I waste upon this pedestal, eyes wide
And endure the gawks of guffawing Republicans
The leering sneer of Pat Robertson
Wake me from this nightmare, Bill
I have stopped thinking about tomorrow

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