Beat Me, Daddy, Eight to the Bar

Jack Black, Jack Black, I love you, you know

From the top of your skull to the tip of your toe

Your eyes, how they spin round your orbital sockets

How I love you, Jack Black, down to the lint in your pockets



Your mouth, rictus, and your teeth, chattering song

Make me weak, make me hungry, make me sing right along

Tenacious D make me wanna go Black and never go back

You, honey bee (not Kyle Gass), are the real daddy mack



Sunrise, sunset, and the day in between

Is filled with Jack Black -- hey! -- you’re really keen!

So give me a sign, O monkey-like one, show me that you care

I’ll come when you call, anytime, anywhere



I will make your bed, I will cook, dust and mop

I will make your home sparkle and feed you till you pop

Christ, Jack Black, I’ll even wash your shorts and socks

Or meticulously repair all the wiring in your home so you never get shocks



Hear me, Sir Teddy Bear, Sir Wild and Wooly

I’d be a good wife, and would submit to you fully

No headaches or excuses, oh, no, not from me

Lori's drive-thru would always be open for Jack Black the Mighty



So marry me, lover, make me a happy girl

And give me your heart, your soul and your pearl

Buy me diamonds and rubies and things made of gold

And I’ll make you happy until you are really freaking old