#5 in My Series of “Incredibly Bad Poetry by Celebrities or Fictional Characters”

The Saddest Clown

By Jared Leto




Look at me, you bastardly bitches
Look into my mesmerizing lady eyes
See how they hypnotize? Now look away!
I am the Wal-Mart of magicians

Marry [sic] me, marry [sic] me
I am finished with you

I apply my angst upon my face
With wicked turn of wrist, the greasepaint
My deepest agony and despair
And I cry

Marry [sic] me, marry [sic] me
I am finished with you

Scooby Doo is a magnificent cartoon
Because Shaggy smokes the weed -- I know it’s true
I scream out in pain, alone
I love myself, alone

Scooby dooby Doo, where are you?
You’ve got some fun [sic] to do now

And the wind cries Jared
Can you hear it, fuckers? Marry me
Come weep with Mr. Silly, come
Walk beside the saddest clown on earth