Friday, November 4, 2005

Ebony, Ivory, Singing in Perfect Harmony

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1 message
Peaceofmind10@aol.com Fri, Nov 4, 2005 at 12:35 AM
To: biskwik3@gmail.com

On 11/4/05, Peaceofmind10@aol.com wrote:
This is Peaceofmind10@aol.com

I recently accidentally happened upon your website and was delighted to see my comments posted. In full I would like to say that you are one sick woman. You obviously seem to have a problem with a woman of color who exudes the beauty, grace, glamour and class of Gene Harlow, Greta Garbo, Marylin Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor to name a few. These women are all white and the fact that Ms. LaBelle exudes these qualities without apology is obviously a problem for certain people. The Lady Marmalade portion of the program the men all volunteered to come on stage and knew full well the fun that is involved it is a trademark part of her show (educate yourself). As for her five octave range it is something called talent and singing with conviction and passion. Something you obviously have not been given the ability to appreciate. I could go on but I wont because I think I have made my point. Open your eyes and learn to accept truth. Patti has overcame too many obstacles and been a blessing to too many people for you and your unfounded thoughts to even be considered by anyone with the sense of a log. Post this!

Your wish is my command, sibling. (Not sure whether to call you "brother" or "sister," O anonymous one.)

Dear Madam or Sir,

I'm sorry that you took my good-natured ribbing of Ms. LaBelle as a symptom of mental disability -- I am, in fact, a bit loopy, but not totally 'round the bend. In another ten years or so, when my four children have all reached teenagehood, I'm sure I will completely cross over into absolute madness. But until then, I assure you, my faculties, for the most part, are intact.

Also, please allow me to apologize for having offended you -- I certainly meant no harm. You are correct in assuming that I'm not educated in the ways of the LaBelle -- I only know what I've seen through the years regarding her numerous television appearances. Or should I say "heard" through the years. And what I've heard still echoes like the mythological Irish banshee throughout my skull. To put it simply, I don't care for the woman's voice. Regarding her Nobel Peace Prize performance, I found it to be in bad taste, an embarrassment for all those involved. I suppose it could've been the beer goggles distorting my view that night, but I highly doubt it --- I had a witness, someone who watched the same thing as I, someone who was just as horrified, if not more, and that witness happens to not only be my best friend of twenty years, she is (was?) a LaBelle admirer. And -- get this bit o' timeless cliché -- she's black. Yes, you read that right -- old Ms. Lori, who has a "problem with a woman of color who exudes the beauty, grace, glamour and class," is best friends with a woman of color who not only exudes beauty, grace, glamour and class, she IS all of the aforementioned, and more. Plus, her voice doesn’t cause me to go into epileptic seizure.

As an aside: My seemingly light-hearted response to your bold assumptions may seem flip, arrogant, but the truth is, your assumptions hurt.

I just don't care for Ms. LaBelle's voice or persona, dig? Just like I don't care for Jennifer Aniston or Paris Hilton (if you're so inclined, check out my archives -- plenty of snarky posts about white women and men in there, friend). My humor is not meant to be vicious, I mean no ill will. The people who regularly read my blog know this. If you don't appreciate my brand of sarcastic nonsense, then please feel free to never set eyes on my words again. Besides, do you honestly believe that my silly rants would have any impact on those people whatsoever? Do you really think that those blessed and fortunate chosen ones, those famous, beautiful, unattainable and busy people would give one crappity-crap about what I say should they accidentally happen upon my piddly blog?

I can say with the utmost confidence that they would not.

One last thing: You wrote, “As for her five octave range it is something called talent and singing with conviction and passion. Something you obviously have not been given the ability to appreciate.”

I wholeheartedly disagree, and shall do so by ending with two brilliant, compelling, fabulous words: Aretha Franklin.

Respectfully,

Ms. Lori

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