I Want to be Like Bev

So, anyway, I saw that Bev Vincent has Ten Things I’ve Done That You Probably Haven’t on his LiveJournal, and I felt compelled to do the same on my blog.

However, as I often feel the need to be more annoying than the rest of the human race, I have tweaked the following LiveJournal fad a bit. Plus, I’ve done too many freaky things to narrow them down to only ten. Behold...

Twenty Things I've Done That You Probably Haven't!

1) Knocked boots with a former Sex Pistol.

2) Worn a Mohawk -- I believe I may have been the first bitch in Rochester to do so.

3) Appeared in a table of contents with Stephen King -- twice.

4) Been arrested at the Canadian/American border.

5) Partied with Billy Idol, The Damned, Foghat, Exploited, Neil Schon (ex-Journey guitarist) etc., etc. No, I didn’t sleep with them, but I did become good friends with one of the guys in Foghat...Till I screwed that up by being an asshole.

6) Fought for my life. Literally. I know what it‘s like to believe you‘re going to die by the hand of another human being.

7) Traveled overseas with a madman who smuggled a gun into that country.

8) Won three hundred bucks playing craps my first time in Atlantic City -- without knowing what the hell I was doing.

9) Brought a very tall, broad-shouldered well-known author to my mother’s home for Christmas Eve dinner -- wanted to die when, as she took his coat for him, said, “Jesus, this is a heavy coat -- what is this? The whole cow?”

10) Lived in an abandoned storefront in England.

11) Have, on numerous occasions, been mistaken for famous people, asked for my autograph. I happily complied.

12) Stole a gravestone, a small but heavy cross that said simply “Father.” I am ashamed.

13) Gained hundreds of pounds during my four pregnancies and lost them all within months of giving birth (I averaged 80 pounds gained during each one).

14) Was given full scholarship by a prestigious university workshop to study under Hayden Carruth, and I backed out at the last minute. I am, as we all know by now, an asshole.

15) Ate goat, and liked it. Thanks for the experience, Ms. Olivia.

16) Was almost attacked by a rabid fox -- I discovered that I am able to move faster than lightening.

17) Arm-wrestled with Jon Bon Jovi’s roadie while Jon and my soon-to-be husband watched -- the roadie won.

18) Saw a UFO. Really.

19) Was accosted by something supernatural, something evil, while spending the night at my mother’s. It changed my life.

20) Am living out my childhood dream of being a writer.